upload May 17, 2005

moxie(103): Nobody actually appreciates that the Dead opened for Frank Zappa several times.
niner(103): Now that I know, I appreciate it immensely. I do.

BooR(43): Aye, but as the default my chess program looks like a gay pride festival.

daktari(103): Science doesn't just change, it moves toward increasingly accurate modelling. The trend only goes one way.

who(103): If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

ABottleOfSmoke(103): don't pick your teeth with a razor

Bus(103): Quantum mechanics should shake any notion we have that the universe is just one big pin ball game to be understood with differential equations. God is a possibility. Whatever He may be.

Charlotte(103): The virgin is better at understanding Women's Issues, Jesus is good with jokes, and God is, well, the smarttest

KSose(103): .. there is no George Forman rice cooker.

tweedle-dum(50): I have booked the club's 50 foot yacht for the rest of may. It just sits at the marina otherwise. Anyone fancy a cruise?

Kewlper(2): They made me take a urine sample and then I had to chop off my finger and fedex it overnight...

Naisortep -- so lyon was nice enough to play thi 7 year old I teach today. He said he had to go after the game because its 2:15 am in Italy. My student goes ive stayed up later than that, once i was up until 12.

guest2856(U)(100): [77] (B2.34.en) Is it possible that guests may (as a suggestion) be able to talk in 50 only on Sundays (and possibly holidays)?

TheLearner(43): its also a power play to appear stupid in public

Moondog(43): and there was one instance, when a drunk in a state park was taken into custody by rangers Jack Daniels and Jim Beam

OrionsKnight(H)(100): $guest5333 Thanks for showing an interest in ICC. As you leave, consider browsing through our giftshop at http://chessclub.com/store/ where you can find merchandise with the ICC logo to use or wear as a constant reminder of your experience here today.

Talon(103): i used to be part of the intellectual elite, but then i discovered dope

Patou(250): i'm kinda sick of all these vendors.. "reasonnable prices -- 150 CHECKELS FOR 15 0 game with short analysis!!"

Drahacik(FM)(2): with half a brain you can figure out Leko has White. But you can't figure out who has Black.

kenspe(103): Nurse! adam is out of his room again!

upload May 5, 2004

guest838(U)(50): Explain what your problem is. If it's ICC related I might help you out. If it's purely medical, like failing to get an erection I'm sorry to say that I'm not qualified.

Chess-WhoCares(H)(100): night helpers, admins, and the useless natnee ;)

Chopin tells you: macaroni(H)(100): yeah, they might decide admins cause too much lag by being in 300 channels :) Chopin(H)(100): admins cause too much lag by logging on but serving no purpose adam16mr(100): well this admin will take that with a grain of salt and a swipe of the hand :) Chopin(H)(100): what, out of toilet paper?

LostInSpace(97): I had the same gf from age 18 to 22, lived together 3 of those years, and even though she was 5-9, blonde blue, looked like Grace Kelly, and constantly smoked pot and was horny all the time, they were totally wasted years.

KingsRook12 (17:43 04-Mar-04 EST): Lyon(100): $franco12 Yes, it is bad. There are words that are considered bad, in an English-based server. Asshole is one those words. I am surprised that you didn't know. I'd dare to give you a piece of advice: don't try out other words, like fuck, for example. You would be get kicked out again.

niner(103): guest48(U) tells you: Nudda kwezchun, eh, Nina? Spoze yo sittin in cherch, an day pazzez da kollekzhun plate yo way. Den, sumhowze, a twenny-dolla beel gitz stuk tween yo fingaz. Den, win ya leevez, ya seez sum hoz, a blowz da hole twenny, an don nevva paze it bak, eh? Datta sin, ya thankz?

Pennswoodpusher(103): Jesus has everything to do with religion but nothing to do with god. The laws of physics have nothing to do with religion but everything to do with god.

Equable (23:38 26-Mar-04 EST): dude,, look at this one;) hahaha KarpoMarx(97): a guy from channel 97 goes to see a shrink and says "I'm having a real hard time making friends you fukcing cokc sucking bastige.

CP-Flames(103): please ignore the trained typing monkey that goes by bozoboy, he escaped from a local circus late this afternoon, the authorities are in hot pursuit

upload December 25, 2003

kenspe(103): I think I play Bobby Fisher yesterday. He resigned early in the game.

Farkov(H)(100): My grandfather had a motto: Old enough to pee is old enough for me
Farkov(H)(100): He did a lot of jail time though

Sqreater(2): "Police say man killed with bishop in heart died one week after including FICS in his will." Police say death "suspicious."

Akki(43): anybody got a good book on the french?
Akki(43): french sucks that much huh...

guest886(U)(50): Unit 385, your communication module needs updating to support modern capitalization standards.

DoubleChinn(103): famous words of St.Augustine Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men..

Charlotte(103): I love only gold, money, status and power. I spit on love and friendship - you cant take those with you, when you die
Charlotte(103): thankfully, I enjoy huge wealth, status and power

Talon(103): Aquarius: (Jan. 20Feb. 18) You'll get an incredible sense of personal satisfaction from your new pet, which is why the shocked and disgusted Humane Society workers take it away.

guest906(U) tells you: adam, I have 2 accounts with ICC but they both have been banned, if possible I would like ICC to donate the money to charity, would this be possible?

taz(100): [64] (B2.34.en) * I just beat a guest 2399 was that his rating 2399?

DAV(*)(50): remember a dog is not just for christmas
DAV(*)(50): there might be some left over the next day too

Lyon: fuck is a nice word, in English. It comes from 1600, when the _King had to authorize couples to have sex (jus prima notcis, and such). When a couple got married, a plate was exposed on thei home door: Furnicating Under Consent of the King. The initials of these words are FUCK.

guest763(U)(50): Gezz wut I gotz, eh!? Mo betta dan alla yawl, I betcha! A freeby from ma bezt ho, dazz wut! Savvid ma sef fo bitz, sho nuff!

upload November 20, 2002

KarlN(2): hogyu is ICCs "I beat an IM!" feature

Petrel(*)(100): Possibly I murdered somebody in Quebec

If(H)(100): There are three kinds of musicians: Those who can count, and those who can't.

BrookeShields(110): "Unconcerned, mocking, violent--thus Wisdom wants US. She is a woman and always wants only a warrior." nietchze

KarlN(43): I have 439 draws on the ICC so I must be a friendly nice guy

MattF(97): Only in America could automobile accident settlements be considered a suitable topic of discourse amongst gentlemen

spin(97): you egg abuse on, you manipulate it, you encourage it, you applaud it

spin(97): yes, a bath of ANY KIND, dz, would wash away your ugly encrusted stench

BlackHorse(H)(100): guest306(U) tells you: ok im going to tell you this because i like you: clean your toilet, clean all of your toilets. i study microbiology and what is around there would make you sick. literally. so do yourself a favor and scrub your toilet.

guest800(U)(50): i feel like crying, i need comforting, drphibes, you seem like a nice chap, comfort me

Admiral-Kirk kibitzes: This looks like another easy win for Karpov....I will do some essay writing now. This game is all but wrapped up for Karpov!

Hung-Piece(97): the only exceiting part of soccer are the kick offs to decide tie games. they should just spend the whole time doing that.

Bug(97): stinky, you would not know facism if it forced you to get a job.

groundzero(97): I once engaged a student but at 14 her father thought she was too young
TheLearner(97): I don't think so
TheLearner(97): I bet he thought YOU were too old :)

TheFischerKing(44): somebody megabase2001 have?
TheFischerKing(44): i need help
Grifter(C)(44): somebody grammar have not?
TheFischerKing(44): matters does it? really not

Xenakis said the meter-long (40 inch) spear from the victim's fishing gun was embedded in his head, entering at his jaw and protruding from the top of his skull.

--> krell is reminded of an engineering t-shirt he once saw: "Log it, Pave it, Love it!"

WarHawk (20:05 15-Oct-02 EDT): For your quotes page?: guest893(U)(100): [58] (jicc|0.0.) I fuck so good so rough so tough so nice so quick so slow so smooth so strong so real. indigo(100): Believe it or not, ladies, he's not taken yet...

toc(*)(100): Don't scamper. He likes scampering. Back away slowly, smile, but don't make eye contact.

BooRadley(97): it's a fun movie for kids, in its day. Although I have the distinct impression spin was never such a kid that would enjoy such movies. Then, though, instead of putting it down with 4 and 5 syllable words he only knew 2 and 3 syllable ones

Aslak(C)(2): Fishbait is cute. Check is picture on Qualo's site.

SlavMonster(97): bunch of feudal psychotics

megagagnon(43): israel is much safer than the U.S., if you like to drive drunk, use your cell, and eat a burger

Murdock(H)(100): robohelper is hardcoded to NEVER harm a human
Murdock(H)(100): he CAN'T hurt a human being by action or inaction
Murdock(H)(100): or am i thinking of something else

upload March 21 2002

Tuco(97): i always batter my wife with perfume before having romance

wasabi-buds(97): some of your tells are decipherable, but most are completely jumbled. are you on something, my friend?

Pin(97): dudge, you are permanently censored for your blatant verbal assault on Californians, and your high school desire to piss me off. suck a dog dick, boy.

SacMan(97): wasabi, I'll try it your way next time (e.g. swallow down some shrooms and see then if Tuco makes any more sense)

SunGod(97): perhaps we could genetically engineer a disease that will kill everyone who hates another person.. then spray the entire world.. I'm surprise John Lennon didn't think of this

LostInSpace(97): 3p regarding that pic at adam's site, get some furniture with that 10 mil, man, and get a new TV :)

Pennswoodpusher(50): I have heard that a method of ridding one of mobile worms is to fast for a day while taking a bitter medicine. Then have someone prepared a meal of pork and saur kraut, sit in front of it and inhale the fumes. The worms will travel up your throat and out into the mix.

guest416(U)(50): the cool thing about latin is i can say anus all the time and its okey =D

--> Genius slaps AlexieD, grabs him by the hair, and forces him to do a lap dance for Zakarius

ThePatzer(250): I am a Patzer(TM) "finger yourself", chess loser of the world for ~2000 years. I will play 300 games with anyone for only 3 kisses (3 smoochies, smackeroos, frenchies) per series. Or you may select more or less games. I offer taunting and insults, on request.

SSDM(97): SacMan(97): In boulder they're still trying to figure out who slashed a six year old girl to pieces. I figure they should be finding me right about the time Jim Kirk is graduating Star Fleet.

apu(97): shouldn't take many more runs to demolish the Red Cross there for good

TINMAN(97): i think those hindus should put something on their turbans so we don't get confused... like mayb a bush cheney campaign button

SunGod(97): --> Tactictal would someone tell dune that the fact that I have not censored him and he keeps being rude to me while he has me censored makes him a punk tell dune tacticatal says you are punk I hope i didn't mess this up

Malesonan(250): I just spent an hour getting kicked and kneed and punched in the crotch by 3 girls...and spanked RecklessAbandon(250): I hope you got your money back

cmanson(166): "Yes, yes, yes, I know...it's the world championship. But they ALWAYS have youth basketball on Saturday morning...and THAT'S why we're playing at the nuclear facility"

Hawkeye(GM)(2): can blitzin analyse urin tests ? IamMONEY(2): sure it can hawkeye... see that slot on your computer... you're supposed to piss in there...

carbide(97): i would rather gw be banging tenage boys in the oval office than have a bible there

--> munch does you think she knows what to do with a Bishop in her opening?

throk(66): oh yeah? Well my friends brothers cousins friends dad knows this guys who's uncle works there and he told me they are fine

Usufructor(97): That Chomsky, he rocks! I don't think he likes anybody.

guest71(U)(100): [86] (B1.81) I've heard that ICC admins aren't paid. And yet Freebird is here 10-14 hours every day! (using the quota command) Has he given his life to ICC? Or is he a special type of admin? guest71(U)(100): [87] (B1.81) Maybe that's a sad case, a topic that's best left unexamined, my apologies. :)

natnee(H)(100): we had a discussion about my gender in channel 47 last night. it turned into a discussion becuase of kewlper..he's rather slow you know.

guest1090(U)(50): The best way to start your day off is to swallow a whole bottle of scotch, bacon and eggs with a lot of grease in it and a pack of smokes.

lat1(C) whispers: sweet breads for breakfast m'lord before i scrub the regimental goats plums again

Ibonked(97): if they die of aids i have to chuckle

Grant(97): Anyone notice how veers bounces wildly from amoral 'realpolitik' positions to moral claims? His positions are 'rightful'...'veers' is certainly an appropriate handle

--> knightrunner runs across a few paraphrased sayings --> knightrunner A rumour without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.

--> SachKhand My straw hut is leaking : (

guest1177(U)(50): gimme whipped cream......I want whipped cream on my chocolate cake.....and I want whipped cream in my hot chocolate.....mmmmmmmm YUMMY.....CHOCOLATE WITH WHIPPED CREAM......MMMMMMMMMM

guest759(U)(100): [45] (SLICS2.6p) why are we assigned a number as a guest? I would have liked to choose a vulgar offensive name.

Boss(97): bitterness contains powerful emotions that are difficult to harness...it may even cause you to harbor ill feelings toward innocent participants in a chess chat channel...it finally manifests itself as an imposition on members of a channel...who are expected to consign to their personal "war"..

LostInSpace(97): It's just that all the nonsense gets in the way of all the good bitch-fights in here, which are entertaining on a slow news day. When Pin has all his bitches lined up in here screaming at him, it dulls the channel of its usual humor.

SlavMonster(97): Psychotics running amok have to be brought to order

adam16mr(*)(110): The eyes of fire, the nostrils of air, the mouth of water, the beard of earth.

moton(97): black-castle(97): hehe, i dont belive in this crap--moton(97): then you will be a bug or a fish probably--reb(97): if I am coming back as a fish I want to be a G R E A T W H I T E !!

upload Oct 4 2001

L337M4573R(100): [6] (B2.32) ICC IS NOT FAIR FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE REAYL REALY REALY REALY SUCKY MOUSES

Holt(97): i once put this in a shout and got muzzled for it Holt-->has a huge penis in fact its so huge he cant get his pants on anymore so he sits alone at home with his penis i was stoned as hell at the time and it sounded funny to me

Hip-HopBandit(66): you just learn about s-shouts, and now you want to be an admin? What sort of a server do you think they run??

CunningLinguist(97): (told styler, who has been idle for 36 years)

Allan(*) tells you: add this to your funny quotes -- Lyon(*)(1): deja-blue asked: What does lynch mean? / Lyon(*)(1): I believe it is a big wild cat

Salisar(97): actually there are two ways to know you've won an argument with a lib .. 1) they self-proclaim victory out of the blue, and 2) they resort to insults

Pin(97): you aren't fit to suck the asshole of any human or animal alive or dead

DrStrangelove(97): shoot the glutton, don't ask why, shoot it fast, in the eye

JFernandez(*)(1): B11 asked: * does have as turning off of my finger a rating? JFernandez(*)(1): Huh?

dufferdelux(97): I likez wimminz, wit low sef-zteem, no teet, an no kinna sef-respek, eh, Pet?

LateKnight(*)(97): I think 97 is near its natural life

--> who sits in the stall next to Oblivion and says, "This is nice. I wish they'd add a window so we could hold hands."

--> BruceLee superman was found dead on the toilet with his pants down and his last supercrap floating in the...oops that was Elvis-sorry

Pennswoodpusher(50): " The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear you will make one."-- Elbert Hubbard

Pennswoodpusher shouts: Werner Heisenberg once was pulled over on a highway by a policeman for speeding. The cop asked if he knew how fast he was going. W.H. replied," No, but I know where I am."

guest22(U)(100): [11] (B2.31) In order, starting from the star, what are the names of the planets in your system?

Hagrid(97): I mean there is too much sex in our society. We need to legalize prostitution, so we can go to the movie and see something other than some bullcrap nudie love story. We'll go watch a movie about a war, then go to a whorehouse. Let's make America well again.

DrWho(97): Grant, perrhaps we should issue an apology to the terrorists for making them do this? Measured enough for you?

Mikenas shouts: America will commence to build a new World Trade Center, and when it is finished, will christen the building, by dropping from its top, the perpetrators of the terrorist attacks, to fall to their deaths.

UpTheRiver(97): Borracho, young veers, now a student at UPenn, will soon be your platoon commander. he will lead you in attacks on Taliban positions in the mountains of Afghanistan.

guest565(U)(50): I thought I was a bottom feeder until I saw a couple posts from so-called registered members on ch 97.

geneditty(97): what do we do if we dont nuke'em, hold a conference on terrorism?

RollingBall(97): latest from afganistan!!! Osam Bin Laden spotted moving to another cave!!

Bestking33(100): [97] (B2.31) does anyone know how to play chess in here? could u teach me? I like Fried Eggs!

indigo(123): Just got an important call about my long distance plan...I better take this...

Boardfn(50): I have nothing against Arabs, but I will not fly with them.

--> nowhereman 's parents did n't allow him to have a girlfriend 'til he was 27; by that time,..... he was married and wife did n't allow girlfriends

Alcuin(H)(100): if its ur 2nd day and you're emailing GMs, you're probably a nuisance

--> psychopath i m not worried, i got my welfare check today, bought beer vodka and smokes, lots of drugs too

MST3K(55): ok i sent them a nasty email MST3K(55): i could have been nastier but i don't want my service cut off

ljg(97): investing in the stock market is like selecting a chess opening...the poorer the reputation..the better

--> savant .. kibitz is a rather odd and old fashioned word .... savant suggest that "shoot the s#@t" would be a suitable replacement for kibitz .. perhaps the syntax could be "STS" ...

DrStrangelove(97): when you appear before the Judges, tell them to burn the jungle, veers. Then present your SAT score letter.

spin(97): poor, sacman, to see him now, wallowing, convulsive, lashing out, like a creature in an alien film, to the extent it all merits pity, it equally merit contempt

upload July 27 2001

DaveTheBrave(*)(100): why can players specify if they will only play male or female? this seems irrelevant and discriminatory. also why are computers allowed to do this? lots of computers are waiting on games but they will only play f. i do not think this should be allowed. DaveTheBrave(*)(100): that's a true question

Plukit(97): you will know my mental age when i shit down your throat

moton(97): sonnyblack is rather like an annoying fly. he comes in, buzzes around annoyingly for awhile, then flies off having no more aim or direction than when he came in

TheImpaler(97): SD idle? Hard to imagine. Next thing the one will stop his constant furious labor...

guest482(U)(100): [53] (W4.2.0bet) i have a handle here but i hate to lose. So, I use to disconnect when i am in a bad trip. Why these people complain too much about me? I just love to win and hate to lose!!

anglegirl(C) shouts: it's really sad, like my english teahcer... he's like... he's like mr bufu. we're talking lord god king bufu. i am so sure! he's like so gross! like he sits there and like plays with all his rings and he like flirts with all the guys in the class. it's like totally disgusting, i'm like so sure... it's like barf

adam16mr(H)(1): guest1618 asked: and after we destroy china,, we should destroy france too !,,, and those arab countrys,,,,,,, and then lets nuke the "south" in the USA,, then lets nuke new york city,, LA, and chicago !

Lyon(*)(47): is that bad? always smile when you're fucking up someone :)

DrWho(97): Polemos, why do you disregard the ago-old chinese traditions regarding emergency landings of spy aircraft? Pretty insensitive.....

spin(97): reb, the scum sucking pig

Pennswoodpusher(50): ( Whispers ) That fellow was an administator--that's why I couldn't say more. Members sign a confidentiality clause & I didn't want to risk my membership. RabbitMunch(50): i think you are overestimating the counter-surveillance on ICC

GrapeSoda(103): to demonstrate his repentence, eadon has been seen all night hitting London's hottest disco clubs with a guy named Antoine

adam16mr(H)(1): guest545 asked: I mean you gotta have something...I mean SOMETHING that corresponds with Europe...I mean Europe is definitelly the most important place in the world...ESPECIALLY

SharpEsq(97): I remember playing poker with this guy with a metal eye patch. Every once in a while he would put a tissue into his socket behind the patch and it would come out with some green goo. I got so distracted, I played poorly.

dudge(97): Only person on ICC whose breath I've experienced to any degree would be TheLearner.

ArmyNorthernVA(97): these college towns seem to think that its perfectly okay to get drunk and start bonfires with other people's personal property. makes you wonder what the fuck academia is teaching them these days.

ArmyNorthernVA(97): I was amazed. all i asked was 'what do you do?' and three quarters of an hour later he was STILL changing his story.....

alexx(H)(100): A slut nixes sex in Tulsa.

Tactics(H)(100): I think fpawn is kinda cute...in a nerdy, engineering, genius sort of way.

catdoc(103): There once was a foffo from Norway, who hung by his heels in a doorway. He called to his girl, "Get over here, Shirl - I think I've discovered one more way"!

moton(66): we just pretend to be australian because it is manly

Jeeves(* C)(97): who's spammie

Saepe(*)(97): drav(97): Chelsea was an angel... a beautiful angel... who never returned my calls, or my letters, or my photos... ; now the only answer is for me to be her, to wear her flesh.

drav(97): the anal sex to which he is referring LK, is a metaphor for the despair one will feel if they succumb to bigotry

egalitarian(97): such bullshit, veers, I want authorities at the University to know that you want californians murdered.

KingsRook12(H)(1): 00 it smells like rotten egg in here...

SophieDaET(H)(1): ROFL.... did jeeves fart again?

catdoc(97): I stole FF's stereo. I now realise that was wrong, and I'm sorry.

Revenant(97): Australian DJ to Irish DJ during around-the-world co-operative radio session: "So, what did you think of Olivia Newton John?" Irish DJ: "She's got nice legs." Aussie DJ: "Yes, but legs apart, what do you really think?"

chess4jesus(100): [31] (B2.31) Am I allowed to threated my queen with physical damage if she doesn't play well? pjf(H)(100): $chess4jesus yes, but be sure to compliment her when she does well for you too.

GrapeSoda(103): Tojo took up serpent handling and his spare time is very limited now

guest1623(U)(100): [64] (B1.81) will ICC barter at all? I have a an old ford truck ill give for 3 years membership. You can paint ICC on the side.

ichabod(97): I heard reproters saying that McVeigh was in total control yesterday. Funny, but when I'm in control, I'm hardly ever strapped down and injected with medicines I'd've never chosen.

LostInSpace(97): I'm surprised he visited Europe so early. I would have waited until my second term to visit Europe, if at all.

Bronstein(97): my kids are fine, ones growing something in canada, making a fortune

ComplexZeta(H)(1): There exists a superior internet chess server called FICS, located at www.freechess.org. I suggest you go there. Also, it is FREE. None of this 60$/yeah trash. Try it out!

dudge(97): dudge(97): spin(97): yes, it just re-entered the vocabulary of mankind, after a long dormancy phase, recently here <-- Spin, is it just me, or is that an example of very poor writing? spin(97): good, dudge, you saw it!! spin(97): excellent, alert as always

erict(*)(1): (decides not to ask where the hair was transplanted from or to)

TragicJohnson(97): I'm writing a book on the CHandra Levy case called. Hot Buns in congess. It begins "The naked intern walked into the congressman's office while he was speaking into his dictaphone. "I haven't had this in a while," he said, as she kissed him and he felt the lust rising. He grabbed her, they

MST3K(97): excuse me if i, unlike you, do not welcome anal rape

Genius(97): -->genius is fed up with his pea-sized nuts

guest802(U)(50): i grabed her ears and told her to suck , she swallowed it but asked to breath, no my dear you die on your knees

spin(97): cunninglinguist's asshole is a gargantuan thing, its growth is unchecked

Pin(97): let me continue my discussion of my large cock

guest236(U)(100): [74] (B2.32) Oh, I see...just because I grew up poor, and had to improvise with a second hand chess set with missing pieces, I'm not good enough for a answer on the magnificent Internet Chess Club. I say good day to you, sir!

fbx(50): 3-year-olds can do alot on the site. You just have to give them tasks that suit their physical capabilities. You wouldn't ask a wheel-chair bound adult to climb a ladder, would you? Or WOULD you?!?!

Hagrid(50): Life is tense for a 2 year old, and I don't see anything wrong if they want to unwind after a day of coloring and napping with a scotch and soda.

Hagrid(50): In the U.S., there is no need for such youngsters to drink. They are usually stoked to the gills on ritalin.

lexical(50): The right to end ones life by the method one choses is a true freedom. YIt cannot be replaced by the right to get ones tongue pierced or even the right to vote.

apu(97): i might have to interact with people whom i censored five years ago apu(97): imagine my embarrassment

dufferdelux(97): SSDM(97): I wish I could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.

Threeputt(97): BD, get your nose out of spin's ass right now. Carp will be homeless

Sommiel(97): spin, you are an arrogant, pedantic, elitist, donkey-scented, bullshit shoveler, and you can cram you, and all of your Chomsky books, up DropZone's skinny little rectal sheath while the entire channel watches on webcam.

Salisar(97): "The difference between a politician and a pickpocket is that the pickpocket doesn't get indignant when you tell him to keep his hands to himself." --Joseph Sobran

LateKnight(*)(100): $englishman Go ahead, play another game...I love making moves for you

DRAGONX(H)(100): If i played yermo, he would just throw the board at me and say "No challenge here"

Pennswoodpusher(50): One father can support seven sons,but seven sons cannot support one father.---- old saying

guest462(U)(100): [4] (B1.5) If JFern was running around naked someone would be throwing water over him and trying to roll him back into the ocean

upload January 6 2001

Slimemold(2): tell junk hehe, they don't know there's already a backdoor in blitzin :)

Monaut(100): [93] (B2.27) * I just played Cybermuffy a game and she got upset with me over an op[ening. She claims I tricked her. I never tried to upset her

Seabiscuit(FM)(97): jfern actually wears asterisks on all his clothing

Seabiscuit(FM)(97): i agree with Mark, that's why i have video cameras in my bathroom

spin(97): i have brought tablets of stone, in my absence, there has been much sinning spin(97): alas, the tablets are inscribed with porno urls, for some reason, hmm, maybe i should ask for a refund

gide(97): Yes, fionn, he's [duffer] been fucking me in the ass, over the internet. gide(97): No, he got up my ass, it was quite boring actually, and I told him to stop, less he brake a membrain or something. gide(97): He got off, and stole a TV from the neighbor, so I was relieved.

gide(97): Adam has propositioned me in personal tells, and I'm sick of it.

Tortonpion(47): Apocal?... if i ever was drunk, unless its new years eve, i wouldnt admit or show any signs of my inibriation, here :)

redwingpa(97): didn't 2 servers dance together in some movie? "Dirty Caching" I think?

savant(100): [50] (B2.30) can we circumvent the rule that sshout must be related to chess topics simply by putting the word "rook" in front of all sshouts ?

JFernandez(*)(100): I had a trampoline once, I used to jump on it so I could land face first on the ground. My parents took it away from me.

Seabiscuit(FM)(97): silly to make death threats bannable, at least you're warned that way

dyer(97): one two three and to tha fo, dyer rootwitch and grim at tha door....ready to make an entrance so back on up, coz ya know we're bout ta rip shit up. gimme da microphone first so i can bust like a buttle, saopaulo and madison togetha nigga you know you in trouble

catdoc(97): Hey Frank - I was bugging Spacepawn about you yesterday. He says you're four and half feet tall, and wear shabby suits. Also that you affect spats and a cane, and are fond of delighting your audience by reciting pi to 70 decimals.

guest2(U)(100): [24] (B2.31) * yeah i've asked this before and i haven't got an answer are freebird and lateknight dating?

apu(97): if cheney gets cold feet, the headline might be "Bush Hopes Dick Does Not Pull Out Prematurely"

catdoc(97): In Louisiana, gay bestiality is illegal, unless you can convince the judge that you really couldn't tell the difference

NimaTheGreat(H)(1): guest83 asked: lateknight has always enjoyed having anal sex with his mom NimaTheGreat(H)(1): i doubt it...he uses farm animals usually =)

Russ(47): I'm glad I have "tolerance" set really high, I don't even want to know what the * stands for

Anteater(97): No, spin, I don't know any penis enlargement techniques Anteater(97): mistell]

Smiley(*)(100): I only comment on the cute guys

--> CunningLinguist has returned and politely asks ch17 to form an orderly queue...

Zek(*)(100): looks like fpawn finally sobered up

Opje(H)(100): give me some mascara and a wig and I would put Britney to shame

Wooley shouts: ICC goes down more than my wife!!!

JohnLennon(97): dufferdelux tells you: I can't stop thinking about Pin's penis.

LateKnight(*)(97): ICC is full of drugged nutcases

Pete-Townshend(97): xamkov, i know what you mean, my butt has been hurting for 2 days, i cant even sit Pete-Townshend(97): i've been kneeling, standing or lying on my stomach for the last 48 hours

CoffeeBean(H)(1): kill the bitch

SophieDaET(H)(1): and thenb, put his hand in my pants,

FlamingDestiny(H)(1): Sommiel's NEVER bitchy around me

MrTrickyMan(100): [57] (B2.30) in response to your question, guest 520, ICC has been tracking me for years. Darooha and Bobby Fischer are always lurking around my house.

BooRadley(97): guest539(U) tells you: HELP ! ive blown a gasket in my glory hole ... and i cant sit down !!! they never tell you bout these things at nambla !!!

Kueh(DM H)(100): $guest476 you can still extend... even if you expire Kueh(DM H)(100): $guest476 ermmm i mean your account

Junk(*)(100): [84] (style 12) someone is cursing at me... how do I report this incident?

Weave(H)(1): what do i do about Junk(*) says: fuck you, you pussy. Weave(H)(1): why did i get kicked out?

MRDARKMAN(2): I say pave the sticken Rain Forest and give school teachers stun guns!

MattF(97): spear will have to be Potzy's boy ... his kid ...

ThirdEye(97): dufferdelux tells you: I am secretly SCREWING a little Jewish kid. Don't tell anyone!

FranksWildYears(103): So what is happening with spearfish - have persuaded 27 women to undress in ch 103 yet, dlh?

FishOn(103): no but we got 3 octogenerians to remove their teeth

Tactics(H)(1): kt-mate asked: * Hi, i just predicted one move - once - my first - and kaspy made my move - no one else predicted it - give me more rating points..

FytinFrank(97): Russian(97): I would vote for Bush if he was snorting coke in the debates with Gore

moton(97): i must go flog myself to instill some humility

Daviater(97): Hehe. I didn't say I wanted Richner murdered (which of course I do, since I hate him more than anybody else in the channel). I just said it would be a fitting death.

Opje(H)(1): Bark asked: r we gonna get a warning b4 the server kicks us off Opje(H)(1): Indeed, probably an admin will announce it. Or maybe the moon will turn red and the dead will reawaken, one of the two

Siamese-Dream(97): And I have been studying erotic asphyxiation, so fucking what?

The-One(97): you're kind of intimidating me, S-D... you seem 'cool', and i don't know how to preserve my dignity in answering your questions.

Benjiko(103): fit as fiddle. A screaming wrenching bloody fiddle that I used to club my own mothers head open and then hacked into little bitty pieces yeeeeeeaaaaaaaarhhgg!! pant pant pant.

the rest are ordered oldest quotes first newer quotes at bottom
I dont have upload dates but they start from spring 1999 and go through mid 2000

Three members who's quotes can be found here have since passed away. These are dyer, rep, and CunningLinguist.
I want to dedicate this page in their memory and give everyone a chance to get to see some of what they had to say.

spin(97): im not white, that is just the color of my skin

Rennat(97): there once was a guy named spin/who opened his dictionary when logging in/and use it he must/attacking the unjust/and laughing at how clever he has been

Rep(97): It is sickening beyond belief that furtive men, eyes glistening with lust, couple repeatedly in the darkened corners of dirty book stores, where roomettes divided by plywood dividers with glory holes allow the perversion of sodomy and the consequent dribbling of bodily fluids.

Rennat(97): when I was young I found that two inches of coke was better than 10 inches of dick

dyer(97): tell ya what you muthafuckaz, and i know when its just some right winger gettin me against the left, if i find out who you are, i'm gonna shag you so hard your doctor wont be able to give you an enema without my expressed permission, bitch

Censor(97): Rennat(97): spin, are you saying dyer and grimreefuh are right wingers spin(97): grimreefuh, i dont know about, dyer swings both ways

CunningLinguist(97): spin has no ********...he expells his excrement by typing in ch 97

Mesh(97): round heels, are they sexy? dufferdelux(97): Damn strate, Mesh! wimminz wit dem will fall on dey bakz iffin ya jist breeth onem, eh?

dyer(97): i rememeber once....me and reb....he was so sweet....the dancing wuz nice....but i couldnt sit for 2 days....and me made me lie to his wife. i loved it

rep(97): I mean, can't one just see two nondescript, shuffling, and furtive men, with glistening eyes, heading for a dirty retail outlet, knowing that said outlet contains their fondest dream, a glory hole? Disgusting, dirty, and disease spreading.

Spearfish(103): I think it's time for some high level assasinations against the top Christian Nazis....of course I would never get involved with something like that myself, but I'm sure there are some out there who are almost ready to act.

carpathian(TD)(97): i just aborted a game with "lordandking" carpathian(TD)(97): i don't play chess against holy roller names

dyer(97): because if you believe what the GOP sayz about clinton i'm sure you scre animals on a daily basis

Murdock(*)(100): darooha may seem to be stupid... but he's really not

Parkman(209): I am a cold, cold, cold person. Be warned. I feel it is right to revenge all emotional distress intentionally caused to you, or caused by extreme negligence, by returning it ten fold

Parkman(209): and the actions can either be reversed with a sincere apology, or I can ruin it for everyone else and get compensation

adam16mr(97): hey sacman kingpin said your an admin still with a different account is that true

SacMan(97): adam, f**k no

adam16mr(97): kingpin is probably just pulling our legs eh

SacMan(97): kingpin is trying to ruin my reputation. i assure you that when i slammed the door on the way out, i slammed it much harder that would allow for going back under a different handle. :-)

--> Siamese-Dream smoothg, you have the right to be shagged by a gay man and you have the right to remain silent during this activity

spin(97): from the ideologically inebriated to the mentally ill, this channel is replete with characters who would, alas, not even supply material for a dull novel

Rennat(97): yes Tristessa SD would probably be considered handsome in a feminine sort of way, but it is hard to tell from the picture because of all the leather straps he is confined with, and all of the whip cream covering his body

Salisar(97): Siamese-Dream tells you: Spin is such a weenie, he thinks that war should be fair, in spin's world soldiers should take turns shooting at each other and if you're a lousy shot, yuou should get 2 shots to make it fair, wake up you imbecile, this is about SURVIVAL!!! THERE IS NOTHING FAIR

dufferdelux(97): No biggie, eh, Adam? Deviate Sexual Assalt iz da dam charge, but it aint gunna stik, eh?

Sommiel(97): and apparently, if Meriwether was telling the truth, you watch them nude...dufferdelux(97): Well, dat kinda enhanse thangz, sho....

EeEk(2): Admin now! Thanks everyone for the support!

MST3K(97): then why praytell did you tell me to go to the dictionary? johnnyrio(97): i didnt know they had the wrong definition

NullPtr(103): I don't recall my last heterosexual experience. But I'm pretty sure I did have one recently because I'm a condom short and there's a teenage girl stalking me.

NullPtr(103): I wish that I could remember her name. It would make it alot less awkward when she calls my office.

Spearfish(103): Null, you are one of the few people who I think could benefit from Christianity

sveshi(* FM)(2): what is 100

Spinboy(97): That tends to show just what a jackass you really are then, Mr. Adam. Outside opinions are the only thing that counts. You don't even see that, do you, loser?

adam16mr(H)(1): metamorph asked: * More than 1X , I moved a pawn to e5 when the opposition's pawn was at d5 and somehow my pawn was captured by the d5 pawn. That happened in the game I just played (#136) if you want to see for yourself. How is this possible? It is totally unfair.

adam16mr(H)(1): aries2 asked: en passant is still unfair, metamorph is right.

rep(97): The radlibs never are bothered that many black athletes fill the NBA; but let anyone note that a lot of white guys do better on I.Q. tests, and the radlibs lose control; the real fear is that black students will be tracked to laboring jobs as would be appropriate

LateKnight(*)(97): but repetitive fucks are excessive and not allowed in ch 97

LateKnight(*)(97): a classic robo nuke for a typo 5- ROBOadmin (00:17 15-Jun-97 EDT): Pin(97): it ocunted it as loss for black on time. 6- ROBOadmin (00:17 15-Jun-97 EDT): nuked

guest193(U)(100): [17] (style 1) do most 1 0 players take crack to play better?

Gold-Chocobo(H)(100): $guest193 I prefer eating taco bell hot sauce Gold-Chocobo(H)(100): the stuff they got IN THA BACK baby Gold-Chocobo(H)(100): That's some strong stuff, but then they told me it was the toilet cleaner Gold-Chocobo(H)(100): and i was like "augh"

dlh(103): my computer has generated enough illegal operations to put me away for life

Farkov(H)(100): OK, if you accidently pick up the wrong piece during a touch move game, stir your coffee with it, and place it back on the square like nothing has happened

guest332(U) tells you: marijuana use is NOT hard to detect if you know what to look for adam , look for people with a "crazed look" in their eyes , behave in erratic manner , and have the furtive "homosexual look"

Salisar(97): but, ownership is theft .. it doesn't quite work MarkR(97): it doesn't have to work. it has to "feel right".

Igor12(H)(100): i shall crush him Igor12(H)(100): such insolence he displayed towards me

JDoss(*)(100): don't you have a mountain to climb junk? :)

AlexDC(97): So I said lets subtract our clothes, divide your legs, add me between them, and lets multiply

uni(H)(1): who asked: Is ICC doing any special function for Halloween? uni(H)(1): well we sent a few admins into the woods about a week ago have not heard from them since but some videotape was recoverred ;p

Spearfish(103): Igor I hold you in the same awe I hold a pool of vomit on the sidewalk

spin(97): the fool is meriwether, his trappings are clownlike, his intent is twisted, his gown is corduroy, with big dots on it

MeriwetherLewis(97): Oh. Yes. Its true. I wear a corduroy gown . .

sdrawkcab(97): visualize the gown, man. see yourself dancing like a twisted fool. and see if you can summon a better reesponse.

Threeputt(97): guest1466(U) tells you: that leaf and bark eating fuker hippo should stay out of the mens conversation , and go eat some tofu or something

MightyMofo(97): [Mutual masturbation and fellatio at its apex] spin(97): righ, alex? AlexDC(97): You are right spin. spin(97): of course I AM!! AlexDC(97): I look up to you as a mentor because I have never found flaw with your logic. spin(97): nor will you, my friend

mkg(97): many like to travel abroad, I prefer to remain incontinent

emmett(*)(100): hmm, passes the vaseline to JDoss and Cell

crashnburn(66): does adam16mr ever leave ICC? He seems a permanent fixture :)

--> Kueh hehehe w17-dumbace(C) tells you: YOU DISGUST ME ... TRYING TO BUTTER ME UP TO GET ME IN BED WITH YOU !! SORRY I AM NOT PROGRAMMED LIKE THAT ... but anyway welcome to the notify list

JFernandez(*)(100): I'm very against anal sex. I just want that to be known.

MrSpock(DM H)(100): time for another lecture...

Y2KPro wrote: since I switched to Blitzen 2.25 the computer gives me a shock whenever i make a bad move, is this a standard feature?

Sommiel(97): Rootwitch(97): The cartoon beer frogs clearly target children. Budweiser should return to its 'Bring Me Another Bud, Bitch' campaign, which was aimed at adults." (01:55 20-Nov-98 EST)

guest486(U)(100): [56] (B1.81) Ifa man speaks in woods with no woman to hear .. is him still wrong?

finneous(97): twits...that is what abouds in here..these conservatives come home from church, beat the wife and then log onto ICC to harass the people on here who have a clue--liberals :-)

DJBTR(H)(100): guest246(U) says: asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DJBTR(H)(100): guest246(U) says: stupid low IQ jerk DJBTR(H)(100): He sure got to know me pretty quick. :)

JJPVV(110): i remember the first time I had sex..I was scared...it was dark...I was alone

Saepe(*)(100): I never said one word about my penis length duffer :-)

Scherzo(97): In a legal course, I don't see why it's necessarily bad to plagarize. It's pragmatism at its best. And I wouldn't want people with such low morals to actually come to their own conclusions about things.

copernican tells you: Thank you. Your reputation precedes you. / . hehe thanks / copernican tells you: Now, about those sheep...

Saepe(*)(97): JFernandez(*)(123): I have to catch the Preschool kids I sell crack to when they get off the bus.

1. How goes adminning Jdoss? seduced allan? Saepe 3 votes!

...[this next one turned out to be tropica spoofing EeEk but we didnt know it at the time, EeEk was idle :)]

EeEk shouts: finger me, I like it.

SacMan(97): finn message me. i'm a former admin. i can tell you to grow the fuck up and deal with your own problems just as well as any of the current admins can :)

Anegnin(97): my girlfriend wanted me to perform oral sex......I couldn't stand the smell

bmichaelm(47): hope everything went well, the extraction was simple, and the dentist didn't start doing a comedy routine while working

--> Lowell already apologized about the reindeer incident and promises they will wear diapers when he flies over your house this year.

Bessel(*)(1): picabo asked: * who can i message with a suggestion?

Bessel(*)(1): There is an account called suggestion for that. Type: "message suggestion It would be cool to have Roboadmin shout bessel! every time Bessel logs on" :)

Peer(H)(1): TOP-DOG asked: HEY SANTA ... I WANT A go-kart,shoes,shirts,a bike, dreamkast , a n64 2 , a playstation=2, money , more money , and ALOT more money

Peer(H)(1): You will get coal in your stocking.

adam16mr(GM H)(100): i' beat kasparov

ascii art

Peer(H)(100): i am gonna get busted you shit head

MarkR(2): i can see it now: (i move e4) blitzin pops up a new window, and spends the next 20 seconds downloading a .gif that read "80% of all e4 players drink coke!"

veloman(97): rio likes correcting my misspellings, and often times it is a full time affair for him... he does it cause he loves me ;-)

Russ(103): The management frowns on my time controls using Tomato, 4 hours per round ties up the bot to long

apu(97): unexpected warming trend this weekend, and a good thing as i already burned all of the fagots

Farkov(H)(100): DaveTheTerrified doesn't quite have the same ring to it

Canuck(50): What level of education is required for you babe?

Heartbreaker104 tells you: As an English teacher I am sick of your misuse of YOUR. Go back to school

HeavensMate(97): Dvorak, AlexDC has nice tattoos on his hiney. HeavensMate(97): On one cheek, it says "One Way". HeavensMate(97): ON the other, it says "No Entry"...I think.

Parsifal(GM)(103): dudge, u got fuck all for facts, but I have to split now cos' we are moving ghouse. Back on in 2 and a half hours for the tournament. Bye guys

Spearfish(103): mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm mighty hungry...what you say we break out the flesh of Jesus crackers and a glass of blood.....

A woman expects erections. Seabiscuit 6 votes!

--> Gehn asks God what Gehn is wearing God shouts: Gehn is wearing womens panties right now, while multitasking between ICC and gayporn sites.

Tropica(*)(47): your question :TourneyBot(C)(47): Hi people, tell me what to do ---was very provocative...

Tendulkar(GM)(97): Call it Two Fat Bastards talking :)

rep(97): broads should bathe and show respect for hte men who are banging them

Good-Rookin(H)(1): Ok, adam, what kind of "scoop" will that be? Chocolate or Vanilla? :)

JDoss(*)(100): black hole wooog, wont you come...wash away the rain....black hole wooog, wont you come..wont you come

Igor12(97): but it takes some work to get that thar gerbil out of the boy

catdoc(97): Maybe you should deck a few people this week, adam. Explore it as a conversational modality, just so you're comfortable with it as a technique.

spin(97): i guess this is the channel 97 normal mode, late at knight, with inebriated clowns bumping into the walls and the urinals

rep(97): I wonder what perversions the libbers are into? For example: is any radlibber into homosexual, pederastic, sodomistic, bestial necrophilia? I.E., does he have anal sex with a dead, underaged male cat?

Wontoba(97): Well, MST3K, if you are saying I was captured and put in a weather balloon, you can go straight to hell. Wontoba(97): I was put in a UFO for a couple hours. Not really that big a deal. I wasn't harmed at all.

Spearfish(103): *Bleem* loves you adam and wants a personal relationship with you!

guest687(U)(100): [98] (B2.26) * can ROBOadmin contact me by phone, iam a member who has forgotten his password.

guest298(U)(100): [3] (B2.23) FYI: in my whole life i have never had any drink that even to the slightest tasted anywhere as good as Mango Juice.. but i just tried eatting a Mango.. and its kinda nasty =(... so drink mango juice, but dont eat mangos !

...[these next 6 are curtesey of sommiel]

Elise(110): The bifurcation in the spiritual Ur-decision toward inculturated thought process as the determinant of teleological compassing in political arena vs. the pathos method à la Greek states is food for thought.

Elise(97): I like to be spanked, for instance.

Spearfish(97): The psychopolitical conundra which offer concupescent delitantism to those who perambulate towards geopolitical hoipolloi, transverse a frozen intellectual tundra throbbing with minutae of the extrapolated filigree. (A tribute to Elise)

Chess-WhoCares(H)(1): Putsch wrote: can I be an irresponsible admin who kills accounts he doesn't like? / (02:39 08-Apr-99 EDT): Chess-WhoCares(H)(1): sorry, all the positions of irresponsible admins are filled :)

TheYeti(97): you were called an asshole, not a moron, asshole

Olenin(103): My problem with endgames is my opponent has all these pieces, and all I have is this lousy king

Rennat(97): ah heck Pyr, just think, you can go out, and bust some heads, you know, kick the shit out of a bunch of scabs, fight with the police, you know, it is sort of like being a soccer fan :)

dufferdelux(97): Diz heer wun time, ya knowz, Gladyz dun wen an got all kinda uppity, jizt cuz I wantid her a takez a role inna flik starrin her anna donkee fo five dolla.

rep(97): Niner, I am sorry to tell you that I am not a homosexual so I am not interested in your rump. But there are many here who are. If you want it kissed, call a member of the limp wrist alliance

Parsifal(GM)(103): what are all these %s?? EAT SHIT; 10 million flies CANNOT be wrong!!!

Parsifal(GM)(103): I just want to say that I am by FAR the strongest ches player in this channel - so LISTEN TO ME!! I must be right! ( Right?)

FytinFrank(103): no we are all borderline schizophrenics who take everything literally, spear

Smiley(100): adam, we have a bag with channel 97 regulars, and once a month we pick a name and that person is banned

ROBOadmin(* C) tells you: JimmyS is not worth mentioning. I am the cool ICC bot.

Olenin(97): It's nice that we love the admins, but surely there is a distinct channel that you can go to in which you can talk about your passion for them

carpathian(TD)(103): show your neighbors how holy you are! pray in the driveway on bended knee, arms stretched to heaven!

Chopin(H)(1): and femme... I get a long well with gay women

RA(97): ok...he PROVED I was a racist only by the means of a question: "RA, are you a racist?". It had been proved, nevermind the question.

Hagrid(166): Maybe Jews are keeping Fischer out of tournaments.

HardPawn(2): of course there is still the option of send a mere $49.99 to Honest HardPawn who will get you the rating you deserve!

rep(97): I was sitting on the streetcar last week when a massively befleshed welfare titan, standing nearby, cut loose with a loud, sustained, and noxious fart. It must have been caused by the dangerous combination of greasy fried chicken, Twinkies and Chek Cola.

rep(97): we do not discriminate against blacks in new orleans....they have many jobs such as streetcleaners, janitors, gardeners, maids, etc

Olenin(97): Bah, Richner, I always catch myself trying to tuck my knights back in the corner and sticking my bishops behind two immovable pawns

MitchW(103): By the way, when my son graduated college, my wife just spoke to the Pastor who made a discreet call to a VP of one of the largest banks in the country. Voila, my son was in the training program with only 11 others from the best families. That's how Jesus works His will to provide miracles for His beli

rep(97): It has been a long time since we had a thorough discussion about the butt plugs used by the condemned just before execution.

catdoc(97): Richner, I'm certainly not being facetious. It is obvious to everyone in this channel, that the liberal media aka "science" has simply invented huge chunks of reality - including, for example, Fluffo, and continental drift - and that it all has something to do with getting a boner when you think of naked men.

uni(H)(100): moo again and you're hamburger

BooRadley(97): Hi ! I'm Boo ! I'm a heterosexual ! Let's fuck !

Chopin(H)(1): +noplay eeek, to noplay eeek. Just put in the name of the offending player right there.

Pin(97): i am not. meet the rare man who has not raped. meet Pin.

Gerontion(97): Pin, it would have been rape if your check bounced.

Kapowsin shouts: message poollady Hi, my credit card number is 5**3 8**4 4**5 2**1 and it expires 05/2002. Will you bill just bill my card for the membership extension, and e-mail me my invoice. Thanks!

JFernandez(*)(100): Awww fuck.

...[jfernandez was responding to that last quote i added the ** to the credit card number]

DaveTheBrave(*)(100): "Add this line to your finger notes to support make Italian official ICC language" :)

sumo(H)(1): POKECHAMP asked: HOW COME WHEN I TRY TO CENSOR SUMO IT DOESN'T WORK?

sumo(H)(1): Tough luck